Another year, another fucking valentines, and babe, you might as well drag the violins out coz this gal is single. Cupid the lil bitch is out again and surprise surprise he ain’t shooting his stupid little arrows in my direction. But come on girl, let’s pull ourselves together now coz in the words of Beyoncé, girls fucking run the world. Why spend money on overpriced trips with some absolute twat that’s probably snapchatting twenty other valentines and won’t even offer to pay or get you flowers or a card (definitely not bitter in any form). Spend the day with your favourite person instead… yourself!
Step One To The Best Day Ever!
Social Media Bye Bye!
Okay, it might be hard, but honestly, it’s essential. Turn off your notifications, delete the apps, coz nothing is worse than a feed full of ‘my boy did good<3’ and ‘I’m so in love look at this amazing meal I just went out for’. Just log out, hop into your own personal bubble of love and ignore the world for the remainder of the day.
Wake Up Early And Be Productive!
Now seriously, the worst you can do is sit around moping all day. Don’t you dare reach for that tub of Ben and Jerrys and switch on Marley and Me coz this bitch ain’t crying today no thank you! Busy yourself! Nothing gets those endorphins pumping like when you’ve achieved a lot in one day and feeling hella’ good about ‘yoself’! Go to the gym! Tidy up! Tell your dog he’s a really really good boy! Spread positivity and it’ll leave you feeling great!
999, Girls, It’s An Emergency!
Once you’ve separated yourself from the cheesy couples and got all your to dos ticked off, ‘Galentines’ can finally get into full swing. Nothings better than girl’s night, and surrounding yourself with your girlfriends is the best thing you could do to get through this crappy day. So queue the pizza, chick flicks, matching pjarmies, and girl you’re good to go! Make sure to schedule in a good bitch about boys in general too, coz seriously who needs them, and it’s good to probably talk about it several times just incase you or they forget. Like who even needs a boyfriend? Chicks before dicks?
Still not bitter lol.
You can do this girl.
You are a strong independent woman that don’t need no man.
It’s only 24 hours then we don’t have to worry about it for another 365 days! And anyways pancake day is the day before which is way more important???
Pfft. Boys. Ew.
*Grabs Ben and Jerrys and switches on Marley and Me*